I can't find a way to express myself to you anymore.

I'm sorry. Kinda sorry. I know, i have messy up your life. u dont lik it. i know that. I'm selfish. You dont like me to be too sticky with you. U liked ur new collage life , and i should distrub that much. Honestly, I've use to the life which occupied you. every night, without ur cal, i cant found a good position to sleep. I'm just dont why this will happened to me.  I've used to it. inside my heart, there was lots of things that i wanting to ask you. either you're fine or you're happy. Every night, i will miss. it had became a natural phenomena to me. talking phone with you at night was a need to me. but, you dont realize that, besides it was just a 'distrub' for u i think. I dunno who to talk to. I felt lonely honestly.i know i got a boyfriend. but we are far apart. not distance but mentally. I want to touch ur heart, wanting to see what is inside there. But u never try to touch my heart, never ever want to know what is inside there. And i, couldnt find any way to talk with u anymore. The decision being together was a wrong again to me. i regreted. i scared! i scare u will just throw me aside as u like. ignore me. neglect me. But what i can do? I'm stupid, i cant bear myself to even have a night without you. Thus, i get the result like this. I'm still child, I want to be a child. wanting to pamper with you days and nights. Hoping that you'll love care me, and let you know, I'm always wanting to be a child inside your heart.